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Dear Chase Bank ::

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    Wed Dec 31st 1969
    06:00 pm

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    "People look at an oil painting and admire the use of brushstrokes to convey meaning. People look at a graffiti painting and admire the use of a drainpipe to gain access."

    Thursday, June 18th, 2009

    Dear Chase Bank

    Dear Chase Bank,

    Thank you for helping me get back that $100 in insufficient funds fees I acquired as a result of something stupid I did. I even forgive you for those times you screwed up all of those credit card payments and didn't even care when I called you crying because that meant I ended up paying $500 for just a new tire and the Sims 2 Deluxe Edition (which, I might add, never did work properly on my computer anyway!)

    Although, I guess if you hadn't screwed me with those credit card payments, I'd have an extra $400 and wouldn't have gotten those insufficient funds fees in the first place, huh? ((Oh, who am I kidding...I'd have spent that on shoes and coffee either way, and would still be in this predicament.))
    And also I wouldn't have been denied for every credit card I've applied for since then, and I might have even been able to use one of those instead of getting myself into negative balances with you while I wait for my automatic deposit to kick in.

    But whatever.  That's $100 I didn't have this morning, right?

    Thanks again,


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